Sometimes I wish my dreams would become reality; didn’t dreams used to seem more possible?
Am I in a rat race convincing myself this is the only way, that security and education, and a salary will lead me to where I want to be?
Sometimes I just want to say “fuck it”
I want to pick up and leave.
Go back and live where I could have a comfortable life, be near my grounded parents, go to school without a full-time job..
Move to another state. One where marijuana is legal, dogs come to restaurants, everyone runs for fun and commutes on bikes.
But I stay here. I stay for the security and freedom. I stay to earn my Master’s. I hope for a bright future.
There is always another step.
I thought after I got into college with all the GPA stress and SAT and ACT nonsense college would be a breeze.
Then I thought okay college classes and not earning much money kinda sucks but once I get a B.S. then I can get a great job.
Then I land a job.
Then I look forward to starting grad school.
Then I start grad school.
Don’t you see what I mean?
Always a next.
I just want to be happy in the moment.