Feather in the wind
Whisping to and fro
Where do you go
Light forms shadows on your barbs
Reminding us of darkness
The absent of life
Not an entity in and of its own
But a lack thereof
1. have objective reality or being.
Is it only me,
Who feels that each day we are slowly dying;
That each decision is a matter of crisis,
Fending off death or drawing it closer.
That each decision can make or break us,
Lead us to victory or lead us somewhere astray..
Or is that the anxiety talking?
Each of us is made unique;
Each of us marches to a different beat-of-the-drum;
And this is my burden—
To seek out the best in me.
Compared to white, everything looks
Compared to light, everything is
Dark as night;
a night without a moon.
Some will live their whole life
not knowing the Light
Surrounded by dark or dim-bodied acquaintances
too afraid to share
the Light they know
Who is friend;
who is foe?
The games we play,
too & fro, never let me go.
Hang on tight;
with all your might;
There is a ray of shine, a silver promising hope;
demanding your attention if only attention
you would give
Too often missed;
a fleeting bright light like a shooting star,
far away yet coming closer,
“Let me in!”
Sometimes I wish my dreams would become reality; didn’t dreams used to seem more possible?
Am I in a rat race convincing myself this is the only way, that security and education, and a salary will lead me to where I want to be?
Sometimes I just want to say “fuck it”
I want to pick up and leave.
Go back and live where I could have a comfortable life, be near my grounded parents, go to school without a full-time job..
Move to another state. One where marijuana is legal, dogs come to restaurants, everyone runs for fun and commutes on bikes.
But I stay here. I stay for the security and freedom. I stay to earn my Master’s. I hope for a bright future.
There is always another step.
I thought after I got into college with all the GPA stress and SAT and ACT nonsense college would be a breeze.
Then I thought okay college classes and not earning much money kinda sucks but once I get a B.S. then I can get a great job.
Then I land a job.
Then I look forward to starting grad school.
Then I start grad school.
Don’t you see what I mean?
Always a next.
I just want to be happy in the moment.
Here I am
In my own mini pity party
Thinking about what could have been
What never really was
Grasping at a false reality
Wishing you understood
How foolish you are
How your pain, selfishness,
and consequent actions
How I’m fortunate
I got away
No thanks to you
But to the supernatural powers
That draw us to others
O how God’s gift of light
And the hard work
He gives us the privilege to pursue
Lift me out of my mini pity party
Into some things new