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Sometimes I wish my dreams would become reality; didn’t dreams used to seem more possible?

Am I in a rat race convincing myself this is the only way, that security and education, and a salary will lead me to where I want to be?

Sometimes I just want to say “fuck it”

I want to pick up and leave.

Go back and live where I could have a comfortable life, be near my grounded parents, go to school without a full-time job..

Move to another state. One where marijuana is legal, dogs come to restaurants, everyone runs for fun and commutes on bikes.

But I stay here. I stay for the security and freedom. I stay to earn my Master’s. I hope for a bright future.

There is always another step.

I thought after I got into college with all the GPA stress and SAT and ACT nonsense college would be a breeze.

Then I thought okay college classes and not earning much money kinda sucks but once I get a B.S. then I can get a great job.

Then I land a job.

Then I look forward to starting grad school.

Then I start grad school.

Don’t you see what I mean?

Always a next.

I just want to be happy in the moment.

For me.

For me.

For me.